Fast Food Hunter-Gatherer

    I fantasize about the same thing every evening in the quiet, warm, semi-darkness of my man-cave. I try to finish before my family comes bursting in. Afterwards, I feel more relaxed about what is facing me just outside my door. I suppose my fantasy is probably not much different than many other cave-dwelling moms and dads who just want to come home from work and relax. Let me share my fantasy with you -- I'll make it a quickie since the hungry wolves are at my door: "ohhhhh...ahhhhh...mmmmm...feels so nice..." imagining how good it would feel if fixing dinner for my family came easily.

    Choosing food for dinner each and every night is a mammoth task since nobody in my family wants to eat the same thing at the same time. They are under the influence of a crazy notion that home cooked meals are chosen from a menu as if home-sweet-cave were some kind of restaurant. By the time everybody has disagreed about everything planned for dinner, I feel like clobbering my head with a club and dragging myself by my hair back to my man-cave for more fantasy time.   

    I do admit that I am also guilty of complicating this dinnertime ritual of disagreement because I try to follow a Paleo diet as closely as possible. My wife says I have always eaten like a caveman and that watching me feed like Fred Flintstone has totally turned her off to the Paleo way of eating. And our two teens both say that they would rather eat fossilized dinosaur turds than go Paleo. So instead of arguing the evening away about what to eat, I become "fast-food-hunter-gatherer-dad" and off I go in search of food. My teenage son is ravenous for something from "McMastadon's;" my daughter is delirious for a Pterodactyl pan pie from "Pizza In A Hut;" and my wife wants me stop by the "Saber-Tooth-A-Lot" for an ice age dinner. I just want to stop by the local watering hole.
     
    Sometimes I fantasize about what it must have been like for the original Primal hunter-gatherers when dinnertime came around. Did they sit around banging their heads with rocks trying to think of what to have for dinner? -- I use my cell phone 'cause it's usually up there anyway with my kids constantly calling me about what's for dinner! Or, did supper roll around as easily as those new rock-chiseled square wheels that were becoming all the rage. In some ways it had to be easier than today -- there probably wasn't as much variety on the menu to cause any disagreements over what to serve for dinner. You just went outside, thumped something that was grazing on the head, and dragged it back to the cave.

    I actually do enjoy living a Primal lifestyle, which is one reason I also enjoy being barefoot as much as possible -- just like our ancient ancestors. But in our modern society, that's not always possible. And that leads me to the notion that Paleo people had another plus over us: they didn't have to wear shoes while out and about grocery gathering. I guess they didn't have to wear much of anything, which probably made scavenging for food a whole lot more fun! They probably also weren't hassled by "KaveMart" managers ugh'ing about the dangers of being barefoot while shopping. Everybody was barefoot so nobody was being told to either slip on that pair of furry flip flops or leave "WallArtMart." Those pesky NO SHOES/NO SERVICE signs hadn't been invented yet -- maybe NO LOIN CLOTH/NO LOITERING -- but barefoot was acceptable.

     If only modern-day society's prehistoric perspectives about barefeet were actually more prehistoric in practice, then that would be "ohhhhh, ahhhhh, mmmmm, feels so nice!"